It always begins with a tempting whisper, doesn’t it? A friend of a friend mentions a tax preparer who’s, and we quote, “a magician.” This magician promises a monstrous refund, a figure so beautiful it could make a grown man weep, a number that seems to have descended from the heavens on a gilded cloud.
So you go. You find their “office.” The preparer speaks in reassuring tones, works with dizzying speed, and, here’s the first little red flag waving meekly from the corner, asks for payment in cash.
They hand you the return, you sign it, and a few weeks later, a glorious check arrives. The magician was real! You’ve done it. You’ve beaten the system.
Then, months later, another envelope appears. This one is from the IRS. It’s thin, which is never a good sign, and the tone is decidedly less celebratory. You turn around for help, ready to consult your financial wizard … but the office is now a vape shop. The phone number is disconnected. Your preparer has vanished into thin air.
They were a ghost. And you, my friend, have just been haunted.
How to Spot a Financial Poltergeist
These “ghost preparers” are a real and persistent menace. They swoop in during tax season, prepare fraudulent returns to generate huge, bogus refunds, take their fee, and disappear, leaving you to face the music with the IRS.
Fortunately, they have a few “tells.” Think of these as the rattling chains and spooky moans of the financial world.
- They Refuse to Sign: A legitimate preparer will always sign the tax return and include their Preparer Tax Identification Number (PTIN). A ghost will leave the “Paid Preparer” section suspiciously blank, which is like a phantom refusing to be photographed.
- Cash-Only Operations: If they insist on cash and don’t provide a proper receipt, they’re operating in the shadows. It’s a massive red flag.
- Wild Refund Promises: If a preparer guarantees a bigger refund than anyone else before even looking at your documents, they aren’t a magician; they’re a liar. They’re inventing deductions and credits out of whole cloth.
- Their Fee is Based on Your Refund: A preparer’s fee should be based on the complexity of your return, not a percentage of the refund. Tying their pay to the refund size gives them a powerful incentive to, shall we say, get creative with the numbers.
The Haunting Aftermath
When the IRS comes knocking, you are the one responsible. Even if someone else prepared it, you are legally on the hook for everything on your tax return. That means you have to pay back the bogus refund, with interest and steep penalties.
Taxes are scary enough on their own. You don’t need to add an actual haunting to the experience. Work with a reputable professional who will be there long after the ink on your return is dry. Choose someone who has a permanent office, answers their phone, and isn’t afraid to sign their own name.
After all, the only spirit you want involved in your finances is the spirit of due diligence.
